Has Kim Kardashian Finally Jumped the Shark?
With the oh-so-shocking revelation that Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce from Kris Humphries, is our voyeuristic pop culture society finally sick of seeing her vapid face plastered all over every media outlet? Has she finally “jumped the shark?” Even in a culture embracing a long list of talentless, spoiled little rich girls with nothing to contribute except mindless arrogance and manufactured drama, there comes a time when people say enough is enough.
Are you there yet, America?
Kardashian’s rise to fame came from winning the birth parent lottery and coming out of the womb with a silver spoon in her mouth, having the genetics for a huge butt, hanging out with Paris Hilton in her early days, making a sex tape obviously intentionally leaked, getting the worst reality show ever, then creating the greatest farce yet – casting a fame-hungry jock to be her fiance for a ridiculous wedding only to file for divorce 72 days later, after lamenting to the press how hard marriage is.
According to TMZ, Kardashian filed for divorce October 31 from Humphries (playing himself in this made-for-TV movie,) citing “irreconcilable differences.” And so the farce ends, conveniently timed to ensure plenty of extra media coverage for the night’s Halloween costume. Good thinking.
Oh what could have ended a marriage so made in heaven? Perhaps Humphries was having trouble following the Kardashian scripts. Or maybe it was a squabble about Kim being the only one on a magazine cover for the wedding (like it’s not all about her anyway, dude, c’mon.) Perhaps the final straw was not being able to agree on a Halloween costume (Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein would have been excellent.)
I’m sure whatever it was, it was epic enough for a great Greek tragedy, or at least a TV miniseries, which is no doubt already in the works.
Here’s the real kicker – the latest report from TMZ is Kardashian is accusing Humphries of “chasing fame.”
Pot. Kettle. Black.
I mean really, people – didn’t you all hate the most popular girl in school who treated everyone like dirt and acted like an entitled princess? So why are you giving them reality shows and endorsements? Because face it – they wouldn’t get any of this crap without people watching them. You created this monster, America, and you are reaping what you sow.
Bride of Frankenstein, indeed…she’s alive…ALIVE! Can we just kill her from the airwaves now? Please?
Kourtney Kardashian Picks Up Publicity Slack by Announcing Pregnancy
Kourtney Kardashian announces on the cover of the new US Weekly that she’s pregnant with her first-baby-daddy’s second child. You know, Scott Disick, the alcohol-guzzling creepy guy who reminds us of Christian Bale in “American Psycho.”
“Now I’m nine weeks along,” Kardashian told the magazine. “You’re supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident.”
Of course that’s the reason she didn’t want to wait to break the news. It couldn’t possibly have been that the general consensus is America is sick of hearing about Kim, so sister Kourtney has been designated “Kardashian of the Week” to carry the media-pandering torch. God forbid if we go even one week without a Kardashian in the limelight with some announcement.
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Harry Potter Tops Spike TV Scream Awards
Harry Potter went out with a bang at the 2011 Spike TV Scream Awards, winning the most awards (six) and taking down the biggie of the night, The Ultimate Scream Award. Presenters and guests like Samuel Jackson, George Lucas and Quentin Tarantino graced the dark carnival set, so lush and decadent Ray Bradbury himself would envy it.
The ceremonies may have opened with heartthrob Colin Farrell reciting a poetic homage to his boy crush – and Hero award winner – Robert Downey Jr., but it became clear as the night went on this was a celebration for not only the freaks, but the geeks, as well. I mean, how often do you see a show wrap by honoring Pee Wee Herman as a “visionary” and allowing him to subject the audience to the farty sounds of a deflating balloon?
While the testosterone levels may have noticeably dwindled as the show went on, the estrogen was all but absent save presenters and the Comic-Con Icon June Foray. The ladies were in short supply as the major female categories seemed to have happened during commercial breaks, or perhaps during the many shameless plugs and trailers for upcoming movies. Call me crazy, but perhaps and awards show should focus on … um, awards? But hey, I guess you gotta pay for that fancy award show set. And sure, I know you have to pay the bills, but making a “Most Anticipated Movie” category? Do you really think we can’t see through the shameless shill for an upcoming movie?
Highlights included “True Blood” hottie Joe Manganiello thanking his wolf “because without him I’d just be a naked guy in the woods,” Tarantino with the most-bleeped presentation of the Maverick Award to Nicolas Cage, and Best Director Darren Aronofsky thanking “supergeeks” like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for making it cool to like sci-fi.
Sure, Aronofsky, geeky may be the new cool, but let’s face it – you lost your girl to James Bond.
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Britney Spears Engaged to Former Agent
Britney Spears made a rather mysterious tweet on Friday morning about a gift from her boyfriend, but “Us Weekly” claims they know exactly what she is talking about — an engagement ring. “Us” says the pop star is officially engaged to her former agent, Jason Trawick.
Spears’ Twitter hinted at the good news for the pop princess, for whom this would be marriage No. 3 after her 55-hour annulled marriage to childhood beau Jason Alexander in 2004 and, of course, Kevin Federline, with whom she had sons Sean Preston and Jayden:
“OMG. Last night Jason surprised me with the one gift I’ve been waiting for. Can’t wait to show you! SO SO SO excited!!!! Xxo” tweeted Spears.
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