Daniel Craig Brings Chilly Sex Appeal to Movies

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(This article originally appeared on Yahoo! Contributor Network on 12/19/11.)

I never thought there would be a sexier James Bond than Sean Connery, and wasn’t sure about the casting for the latest, icy-cool version. But I have to admit, since taking over as the new James Bond, this new guy has given us girls the ultra-suave tough guy to make us swoon. That’s right, you ladies know who I’m talking about: Craig … Daniel Craig.

And has he an early Christmas present for you, returning to the big screen December 21 as the man who works with “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” — just another of his growing list of alpha male roles. After years of suffering so-called macho men like Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris, and Jean-Claude Van Damme (who I refer to as “Damme proud, Damme strong, Damme stupid”), we have the sophisticated machismo of Craig. Who knew icy blue could be so smokin’ hot?

Anyway, before I go take a cold shower, let’s look at some great Craig flicks to help hold you over till the big day.

The Mean, the Bad … and the Incredibly Handsome

Craig plays a liar, a thief, and a cheat who plots murder in “Road to Perdition.” He’s a very bad man, but when you look like that, being bad hurts so good. One of his rare smiling moments onscreen is in this one, but it’s the context that truly makes the moment. A young boy asks him why he is always smiling and Craig stoops down to tell him, “’cause it’s all so [expletive] hysterical.”

Bring on the Beef “Cake”

Craig plays a British gangsta drug dealer in “Layer Cake” who romps with Sienna Miller and lays down some heavy life philosophizing in the film’s opening monologue. And yes, you should be listening to what the man has to say — it’s his intelligence that makes him so hot. We love him for his mind … really. His hot body has nothing to do with it, I swear.

Can I Be Your Cowgirl?

First he challenges Connery as the sexiest British secret agent ever, and now he’s trying to move in on Clint Eastwood’s gig as the hottest cowboy ever in “Cowboys & Aliens.” Have you no shame, Mr. Craig? Hold you nothing sacred?

The New and Improved James Bond

You know you gotta watch some Bond action. Craig really made the role of 007 his own with his steely take on the suave man of action. While he may not be as warm and funny as some of the previous versions, it makes it that much more special when he does show a little humor.

Like the scene in “Quantum of Solace” when he is rounded up by super sexy secretary Gemma Arterton. She tries to check them into a less-than-stellar hotel under the cover of being “teachers on sabbatical.” So when Craig refuses to stay in the dump, he marches into the five star accommodations he selects, and informs the front desk in perfect deadpan, “We are teachers on sabbatical. And we have just won the lottery.”

Now, I’ve already told you ladies that some Craig DVDs are a good Christmas gift for the men in your life, as you get a little something for yourself in the deal as well. But boys, it works the other way too — take your lady to see “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” when it hits theaters, and let’s just say you may be in for an extra frisky evening after. If you know what I mean.

Exclusive Interview With Americana Grammy-Nominee Linda Chorney

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(This article originally appeared on Yahoo! Contributor Network in May 2012)

While music awards tend to bring out differences in opinion amongst music lovers every year, this year’s Grammy nominations sparked something of a firestorm in one category, and probably not in one you might expect. In fact, probably not a category you even knew was on the ballot.

When the 2011 Grammy nominations were announced for the Americana music category, there was a name in there that for all practical purposes, no one in the established Americana community recognized. Not only did it inspire a heated (and an increasingly nasty) debate, but a new nickname for the artist herself — “Who the [expletive] is Linda Chorney?”

For the artist formerly known simply as Linda Chorney, 2011 wase quite a rollercoaster ride. After 30 years of paying her dues as a musician, she got the nod many artists dream of — the Grammy nomination. Sounds like something to celebrate, right? A real “independent unknown hits the big-time,” feel-good kinda story that inspires everyone.

Not so fast.

To be sure, the initial reaction was amazing for Chorney, as one would expect from her friends, family, and fans. But then something ugly crept into the blogs and forum posts, and not only were people criticizing the music, but getting downright personal. Then accusations of “gaming” the system by networking on the Grammy365 site for votes, and some going so far as calling on Chorney to give up her nomination.

The lynch mob had escalated to the point where the only thing missing was a stake and a lit torch.

“At first, I got an amazing reaction from all of my fans and friends and family — they were just ecstatic. It was like a Cinderella story and just wonderful. I was so excited that so many people supported me to get me in the top five, and people really listened to the music — so I was totally touched by that. Then, it turned and all of a sudden, hearing the other stuff, I was a little surprised, actually. I guess I’m naive.”

The real irony is that such a backlash would come from some of those in a genre that arguably prides itself most on representing the independent spirit in music.

“I actually thought the reaction might be ‘Wow, who is this person who had no backing, who had no label, who had no team, but got so many votes — let’s listen to this music because she must be good.’ That’s kind of what I thought the reaction would be, not ‘Let’s burn her at the stake.’ If this was going on in Salem, I would have been burnt as a witch already.”

Chorney’s great crime in most of her critics’ eyes wasn’t so much about the music, but about networking on the Grammy365 site, simply asking people to listen to her music and consider it. Not only is this common practice for labels, but seriously — is there a musician or artist of any kind who isn’t out trying to network and get people to look at or listen to their work? Somehow that has now been translated into “gaming the system” like it was cheating. And like the voters would be so easily swayed to vote for an album simply because of networking — a rather condescending assertion to Chorney and voters alike. Which isn’t to say there aren’t critics of the music, as well.

“My favorite quote about my music was ‘I listened to her music and I wanted to projectile vomit,'” Chorney laughs. “I thought it was hysterical. I didn’t take it to heart — some are going to like your music and some aren’t.”

In a further twist of irony, Chorney has found herself an outcast in a group who prides itself, and even defines itself, by its outcast status. As Roseanne Cash said, “Americana is where you go when you don’t fit anywhere else.”

So where do you go when you don’t fit with the kids who don’t fit anywhere else? Wherever the hell you want to. And that is exactly what Chorney set out to do with her album “Emotional Jukebox.”

As she will tell you — and as she wrote in the liner notes — this was going to be her last album. The 51-year-old had been trying to catch her break for 30 years, coming close 10 years ago when she landed a record deal and her single “Living Alone” cracked the Top 40 charts at No. 31 in adult contemporary. But then her label went broke after a little incident involving two airplanes and a couple of big towers in New York City.

And so it was back to square one.

But fortunately, Chorney found a benefactor, Jonathan Schneider, aka the “Roc Doc,” who helped her make one more album — and wanted her to be able to make the album she always wanted to make, rather than what a commercial market might demand. Or what being too poor and having to rush through the studio might demand.

“I thought this was going to be my last album … and it was a blast. It was an album of just the love of music and not caring about anything else but making good music, period.”

And many people seem to agree — namely, voters who have forwarded many supportive letters, or, as Chorney calls them, her “peers with ears.” Of course, it isn’t only her peers listening — there are fans out there, too, and their feedback has been far more important than the naysayers.

“The most memorable thing for me or the most fulfilling thing for me is when I touch people and they come up to me and cry and they say to me, ‘Your music, your words, they help me and I know I’m not alone and you say things that I think that I don’t have the [guts] to say.'”

Like her song “Looney Bin,” from her previous album, “Chornography,” which was her own therapy after the end of a relationship.

“I had this tumultuous break-up where my heart was so crushed I wanted to die, and I wrote this song and from the first verse to the end, I healed myself. When people come up to me and tell me they receive some relief from their pain through my songs, there’s nothing more precious than that.”

In addition to giving some of her fans a voice to their troubles and, of course, that whole Grammy-nomination thing, her life as a musician has had a few more highlights. Chorney had the privilege to meet and perform for none other than Nelson Mandela and spent some time in Africa in a village picking up bits and pieces of the language. Her blog has a video of her singing along and thanking her hosts for the porridge in their native tongue, much to the delight of the children. And then she taught them to sing “All You Need Is Love.”

Despite the genre party-poopers trying to rain on her parade, Chorney has weathered tougher times to be sure, where things looked bleak, indeed, for her music career.

“I never wanted to stop singing, but I definitely … I stopped hoping. The hope of reaching my goals to get discovered or get the recognition on a larger level — I kind of gave up on that, and it hurt. So to have gone from kind of giving up and just thinking its never going to happen for me to getting nominated in the same year was a huge thrill. I’ve always had faith in my music, but not in the music business.”

But it seems it’s those few critics who are really stirring the pot that seem to keep getting heard again and again as they campaign so fiercely against Chorney. While her skin may be a bit thickened by her years in the music business, many fans weren’t so unaffected by the personal attacks. That was bothersome.

“I received so many letters saying, ‘This story is so inspiring, it gives me so much hope that I can, at my age, still strive for what I want,’ and it was so touching for me to receive that. But then again, I received a few calls after the smear campaign came out from people who were actually crying and saying, ‘This is so unfair, this is such a happy story — why are they doing this?’ and it breaks my heart for them.”

And when all is said and done, regardless of whether you like her music or not, there’s no denying her late success is an inspiration to us all, not just women or “women of a certain age.” And a lesson that it is never too late, even if you may hit some roadblocks and traffic jams along the way that slow you down. But even those setbacks are all about how you see them — as delays or as taking the slow route and enjoying the journey.

Or as Chorney says, “I took the scenic route to the Grammys.” Indeed.

Matthew Lillard Dishes on Lightening Up ‘The Bridge’

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(Reprint of previously published article removed from original site, CableTV.com.)

Matthew Lillard made a name for himself being the jokester in many of his previous roles, including “Scream,” “The Descendents,” and the cult classic, “SLC Punk.” And while he maintains that he’s not the “comic relief” in FX’s bleak drama, “The Bridge,” he does bring some much-needed levity to the melancholy mood of the show, albeit a very subtle and dark humor. Lillard sat down Tuesday in a conference call to discuss his role on the show as Daniel Frye, a reporter — or former reporter, at this point — for the El Paso Times. His character has a knack for getting himself into dangerous waters, and in fact, Daniel was set to die in Season 1, dodging a car bomb and being thrown off the bridge from whence the show gets its name. But the show’s producers, headed by Elwood Reid, apparently decided to keep him around for a while.

We can only hope he’s here to stay, because not only does his character add some great depth and variety to “The Bridge,” but Lillard proved during the media call that he still has his trademark sense of humor, inviting one reporter to go to the prom with him after a particularly complementary question, and telling another his voice sounded like he had been on a 48-hour binge in Las Vegas. And when the reporter told him that was his normal voice, Lillard replied, “Then you’re a lucky, gravelly son-of-a-bitch.”

The actor also discussed whether his character might make it through this season and that he’s not above doing whatever it takes to get fans on board to keep him on the show, even if it means taking up some unconventional weaponry.

Trust me, if you read on it will make sense.

Diana Price: “The Bridge” is obviously a very heavy dramatic project, but you always seem to provide some kind of comic relief or levity in your roles. Do you seek out those roles, or do you try to inject a little bit of humor at times on the page that’s not already there?

Matthew Lillard: I definitely bring an energy that’s different than other people on the show. I don’t really have a lot of jokes. It’s not like Elwood [Reid] and our incredible writing staff; it’s not like they give me a lot of jokes. I certainly get to say more funny things on the show than anyone else.

Then, I think what I bring is energy and, yes, I generally find opportunities to be funny in really high stakes; “Scream” is a great example of that. When you’re running for your life, and you’re at the end of your rope and the stakes are really high, to be able to make people laugh in that little sweet spot; I like doing that.

I think that it’s a combination. I think that the writers and Elwood have found a great way to use me in the show. I think that Emily and I do a lot of solving the case, but on top of it, we can add a little levity to a world that’s so ripe with drama. Yes, I think it’s a combination of both. I think that they lean into me for that, and I tend to find it on the day.

DP: You were talking about how it was rare for you to get these kinds of dramatic roles. You’ve been known for comedy, and this is a chance for you to mix a little comedy and drama together. Would you like to maybe do more of that; that special mix where you get a little bit of both? We obviously just lost one of the masters of being able to mix those two art forms. Do you think that’s something that you might be interested in doing more of?

ML: Yes. I think that every actor is interested in doing that. There’s not a comedy actor out there who doesn’t want a chance to do drama, and vice versa. As actors, we’re always looking to be pushed and to do the other side of the coin. Look, for me, I would love to do both. I’d love to just continue to work in great things.

Having worked with Alexander Payne in “Descendants,” that kind of tone where you’re laughing one moment and the very next moment you’re crying, speaking specifically when he says goodbye. Judy Greer comes into the room in “Descendants” and she’s going off on his wife. Then, he throws her out and it’s very funny then she leaves and then you’re crying because he’s saying goodbye to his wife. I think that’s real life. I think that comedy and drama live a breath away.

For me, if I’m doing really great work and I can be connected to the words and being “dramatic” and real and then immediately make people laugh, I think that that’s a fantastic place to live. I agree with you, we did lose a master at that. I feel like there are not a lot of people that deal in that nuance.

Not to get too crazy and blither off too long, but film and television has been pushed in extreme directions, having extreme horror and extreme comedy–I don’t think that that reflects real life… Yes, I would love to do those jobs, and I would love to have great jobs; that’s what I’d love to have.

DP: I was just wondering, your character on “The Bridge” has dodged death once, and he looks like he’s getting into a little bit of trouble again on the show getting into some danger. I know you can’t give away any spoilers, but do you think that Daniel has it in him to keep dodging death and stay on the show a little longer?

ML: Look, I will say that there’s an episode that comes up that is mind blowing the things that happen. No character is safe on our show, and I will tell you, I’ve seen a script where I died in Season 1. I got the script and it said Daniel Frye is dead. I’ve seen it and I know how it happens and I know the look on Elwood’s face when he hands you the script. I’m not beyond that, I don’t think anyone on our show is beyond that. Saving probably Diane [Kruger] and Demian [Bechir], I think that everyone is up for grabs, and I think there’s an episode coming up that will surprise people on what happens to characters.

The truth of the matter is, I would love to be a character that they use and use and they dig him deeper and deeper into a pit of despair, and then they have to kill him because there’s no way out. I’d love to be that kind of character; that means that they’re using you in a way that’s full of muscle. As an actor, that’s what you want. I’d love to go out in a blaze of glory if you’ve given me an entire season of work that gets him to a place where you have to kill him; that’s the truth. If you can build a great story around it and it supports Season 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 of the show and you have to kill me, then God bless him. Kill me good.

DP: Just exhaust the character?

ML: Yes. That’s the thing, you dig a character into a hole and you’re like, well, what are you going to do? You can’t come back from that. To write a character that you can’t come back from, to be that character would be really exciting.

DP: Just get the fans behind you; sell t-shirts that say, “If Daniel dies we riot!” and maybe pick up a crossbow.

ML: I would love that. If you could—because I can go right from that to like a zombie show or to the dragon show I’d be into it. If you can give me a crossbow I’d be completely happy with that decision.

See Lillard–sans the crossbow–Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. ET on “The Bridge” on FX.

Everything I Learned About Life I Learned from ‘The Walking Dead’

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Everything I Learned About Life I Learned from ‘The Walking Dead’

(Reprint of previously published article that has been removed from the original site)

When the creators of “The Walking Dead” launched the series, they probably had no idea how one little zombie apocalypse show would catch like wildfire, sweeping the country and shattering viewer records. It’s transcended genre fans and crossed over to mainstream America. Why? Some of the appeal lies in the survival themes that draw the “prepper” crowd, but it goes much deeper than that. “The Walking Dead” strips humanity down to its lowest, and highest, common denominator, dealing with life and death issues and how people adapt to extreme circumstances. It’s a morality play that William Shakespeare himself would envy. And as such, it’s loaded with plenty of tips about life, learned through the characters on the show.

Andrea

Some people are just too good to make it in this world. The next time you have a knife in your hand and an evil dictator sleeping next to you, take him out, Carol-style, or he may end up orchestrating your own demise, as well as dozens more.

Carol

On the other hand, when someone who has been oppressed and abused finally finds her power, it’s a runaway train that can go too far. You’re too far gone, Carol, too far gone. You should have turned that romantic tension with Daryl into a therapeutic hookup to blow off some steam.

Maggie and Glenn

Love can survive and even be born in the worst of times. But Maggie, please listen to Glenn and learn from Lori’s mistake about having kids.

Lori

Make sure your husband is really dead before shacking up with his best friend. Also, babies and childbirth don’t mix in a zombie apocalypse world.

Carl

Kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for, and can be the most hardcore, as demonstrated when someone needs to shoot their mom in the head to keep her from turning into a walker.

Lizzie

Little girls are sugar and spice and everything nice… and will shoot you smack between the eyes if you attack them. At least if they’ve been to story time with Carol. (Are Carl and Lizzie a match made in heaven or what?)

Hershel

Never make a grand speech about how you risk death every day, but what matters is what you risk it for: even Scott Wilson knew when he saw that script he was about to get the call that every cast member dreads from showrunner Scott Gimple. Grand philosophical speech means imminent demise. Also, never smile when a bad man has a big sword to your neck, as writers love to set up irony right before they deliver the coup de grace.

The Governor

You can change your name or even change your family, but a bad man after the apocalypse always was a bad man… and always will be no matter how hard he tries to change. Especially if he wears an eye patch. Never trust a man in an eye patch, or golf on an RV roof with him.

Daryl

You can change your name or even change your “family,” but a badass man after the apocalypse always was a badass man, no matter how hard he tries to change. Also, if you’re hot enough, you can pull off a poncho as a fashion statement. Just ask Clint Eastwood.

Rick

Yes, you can come back from dictatorship, seeing dead people and a lust for revenge. A good man after the apocalypse always was a good man and always will be, no matter what tragedy befalls him. Welcome back to humanity, for better or worse, Officer Grimes.

What have you learned about life from “The Walking Dead?” Tell us in the comments section below.

What Causes You to Lose Weight and Gain It Right Back?

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(This article originally appeared on Livestrong.com on 11/23/11.)

In their quest to lose weight, many people choose fads and shortcuts they think will lead to permanent weight loss. In fact, these things set them up to gain the weight back, and sometimes they may even gain more than they lost. To successfully achieve permanent weight loss, you must get back to the basics of good nutrition and exercise and avoid the common pitfalls that sabotage long-term success.

How Weight Loss Occurs

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand how you lose weight — it’s fairly simple. You must consume fewer calories than you burn doing your activities of daily living and exercise. One pound of weight loss equals 3500 calories, so you must create a 3500-calorie deficit for each pound lost. Remember, your body consumes calories all the time just to stay alive, so it’s not as daunting as it seems. Ideally, combining healthy eating habits and exercise produce a slow and steady weight loss over time, and experts agree that the maximum weight loss to strive for is two pounds weekly.

Tracking Your Calories

Read labels at the grocery store and when you prepare food. Carefully look at the nutrition information for the prepared dish and not just the packaged one. For raw foods or meats without labels, consult a resource book for calorie counts or an online calorie estimating tool. Restaurants often have nutritional information available, but many dining out options rack up more calories in one meal than you should consume all day, so eat out with caution. Once you have the information needed, you can compile it through a written journal, or an online tracking site to calculate calories eaten. Many of these also offer tools for estimating calories burned through various forms of exercise to make an estimate of your daily caloric deficit.

Shortcuts that Produce Temporary Results

Extremely low calories diets backfire by slowing your metabolism into starvation mode, where it conserves energy and calories for survival. As soon as you resume normal eating patterns, the weight loss returns, and you may gain even more weight because of your slowed metabolism. The American College of Sports Medicine recommends at least 1200 calories daily for women and 1800 calories minimum for men, which maximizes weight loss without risking the dangerous side effects from extremely low calorie diets, such as heart arrhythmias, electrolyte imbalances, and dehydration. Other temporary short cuts include diuretic medications that accelerate water loss, but the weight loss returns as soon as fluid levels return to normal.

Realistic Goals and The Big Picture

You must be patient for long-term weight loss. The weight didn’t build up overnight and won’t come off any quicker. Developing consistent diet and exercise habits that you can live with for a lifetime is the key to permanent success. Avoid fad diets that set you up for failure with temporary short cuts. Track your calories and make exercise a priority to stop the yo-yo cycle of weight loss and support a healthier and happier life.

References

American Music Awards Degenerate into J-Lo and Fiat Infomercial

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(This article originally appeared on Yahoo! Contributor Network in April 2012.)

When Queen Latifah took the stage for the 2011 American Music Awards, she asked the audience “Are you ready to see the biggest stars and songs of the year?” to a roaring crowd. “Are you ready for a show filled for unforgettable performance?’

Well, yeah, I’m ready for that and at around a $500K price tag for each performance, I think I deserve to see some bang for all my iTunes bucks spent. But is that what I got? Hardly.

Every decade bemoans what the kids are listening to these days, and most of the time it’s just that ol’ generation gap. But tastes aside, Sunday night’s AMAs perfectly displayed why all of us doing that now are exactly right — the event ushered in a new low in crass commercialism and product placement. Even a cynic like myself couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw J-Lo incorporating a Fiat into her performance to create a live car advertisement. In fact, one could refer to the whole evening as the J-Lo/Fiat infomercial.

Bills have to be paid, I know, but any integrity in the awards goes out the window when one of the winners is a shill for the evening’s biggest sponsor. I’m sorry, but there was no way Lopez wasn’t going to win her category with all the money Fiat was shoveling into the program. Of course, when several performers lip-synch an awards show, there isn’t much integrity to go around in the first place.

And yes, folks, Lopez was lip-synching a track recorded for the performance, despite a few “impromptu” references to the AMAs to seem live. How can I tell? Despite shaking her badonkadonk all over the place like the Tasmanian Devil of T&A, Lopez’s vocals never wavered or fluctuated one iota to catch her breath in the performance, till suddenly, at the end after the song, the mike was now on and you could hear her panting heavily.

I cry foul.

I also caught double winner Nicki Minaj with her mike down during a vocal part. Yep, she was lip-synching as well. Although one could argue some of the other artists probably should have done the same. Dear One Republic, pitch is your friend. Katy Perry, in what I can only describe as a Pepto Bismal-colored Jetsons look, was having some issues as well, but at least they were singing. Adam Levine, normally spot on for his performances on “The Voice,” was a bit shaky on a few notes, as well, but when you look that good, who really cares?

They also graced us with pretty straightforward, gimmick-free performances, barring the bizarre styling by Perry, which was a refreshing change from all the gimmickry run amok in the show. As did Daughtry, The Band Perry and almost Mary J Blige — who felt compelled to add unnecessary dancers to do booty shakes in slow motion. I would have liked to see Kelly Clarkson drop the stupid intro and all the distractions and just sing in that stunning red dress in a single spotlight.

Speaking of weird styling, what is that look Justin Bieber is going for? I kept thinking that turned up collar made it sort of like a crazy, space-age Elvis look. And not in a good, kitschy way like The King. I won’t comment on Christina Aguilera’s outfit or weight, because no doubt Kelly Osbourne will chime in soon enough. Um, Kelly, I know you said she made fun of you when you were overweight, but I think it’s about time to take the high road and stop being such a hypocrite. Let the girl have some curves.

And we certainly couldn’t speak about crazy style without mentioning Lady Gaga, who was conspicuously absent. The Lady Gaga snub for “Artist of the Year” undoubtedly accounts for her missing a chance to revel in some ridiculous PR stunt for its own sake, or perhaps Polaroid didn’t want to pony up the funds for sponsorship. But there were a few certainly trying to fill her shoes. Namely, Minaj with her trademark pink wig wearing a downright stupid outfit with something that looked like headlights on her derriere. They didn’t even light up. What’s up with that? And wearing shoes she couldn’t even walk in to pick up her award for Best Rap/Hip-Hop Artist — some poor guy had to help her across the stage as she kept twisting her ankles. But thankfully she was there because no one else did the required “thanks to God” in their acceptance speech (along with a plug for the gospel album her mother is recording.)

Sweet baby Jesus, y’all…have none of you any shame?

Guys, close your eyes and ask yourself if most of these songs are really that good. Because if you have to rely on silly costumes, elaborate sets, and dancers to entertain people, you aren’t doing the music right. Likewise, if you go into complete overkill with all of the above and it’s still boring — you really aren’t doing it right. The 2011 AMAs were all style (and big budget) but very little substance.

At least be honest next year — slap a label on it that reads “This is a paid advertisement.”

The evening’s winners included:
Pop/Rock Band, Duo or Group: Maroon 5
Country Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Country Male Artist: Blake Shelton
Rap/Hip-Hop Artist: Nicki Minaj
Soul/R&B Album: Rihanna, “Loud.”
Country Band, Duo or Group: Lady Antebellum
New Artist of the Year: Hot Chelle Rae
Latin Music Artist: Jennifer Lopez
Soul/R&B Female Artist: Beyonce
Soul/R&B Male Artist: Usher
Pop/Rock Female Artist: Adele
Pop/Rock Male Artist: Bruno Mars
Country Album: Taylor Swift, “Speak Now”
Pop/Rock Album: Adele, “21”
Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Nicki Minaj, “Pink Friday”
Artist of the Year: Taylor Swift

Koffin Kats Release ‘Our Way and the Highway’

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(This article originally appeared on Yahoo! Contributor Netwrok in January 2012.)

Rock and roll road warriors the Koffin Kats are about to launch another European tour to support their new album, “Our Way and the Highway,” their first release on Sailor’s Grave Records.

Not only do they have a new label, but the Detroit-based band has gone through a bit of a makeover, as well, or perhaps what could be better described as an evolution into more of a genre-less, down and dirty rock and roll band. While not really anything premeditated, the natural progression was likely influenced by recording their first full length album with guitarist “EZ Ian” Jarrell.

“This is the first full length with Ian, and this is the first one that we’ve sat down as a three-piece and kinda said ‘let’s write an album,'” says vocalist and bassist Vic Victor. “We went down in the basement and came out with this one about three weeks later…that’s how we write, that’s always how we write whether with Tommy (Koffin, original guitarist) or whatever incarnation of the band.”

Three weeks may not sound like a long time for the actual writing and recording, but living on the road squeezed into a former shuttle bus equipped with three Ikea bunk beds means a lot of time to prep and brainstorm for the trio, consisting of Victor, Jarrell and drummer Eric “E-ball” Walls.

“Some ideas were hashed out on the road between me and Ian going back and forth on guitars, with these little mini, battery-powered amps,” says Victor. “It’s one of those things where we say, ‘Oh yeah, we’re going to spend every spare minute working on it,’ but really it was just a few days out of the whole tour that we sat down and had a few ideas and we bounced back and forth — that’s what made recording it so easy.”

Not only is the band able to crank out a new album in that time frame, but it’s a necessity for a group who spends so much time on the road, and has a very strict schedule to make it work. And with so little time between tours — generally a few weeks — their schedule is set far in advance and set in stone. But for this album, the Kats refined a process started with their last album, “Forever for Hire,” to get the best results in the least amount of time.

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New record, new approach

“We said, okay, at this time we want to go in and do pre-production and do demos so that way we can go over to Europe and let these demos soak into our heads and then come back and do the full recording. And that worked out,” says Victor. “We learned the whole pre-production, demo process when we did ‘Forever for Hire.’ That showed us that you can write an album and not sit back later and say ‘Oh, I should have done this differently’ — the early recordings I go back and listen to and think I probably would have wrote this or that a bit differently. That’s maturity and progression as a band.”

Victor has made a few new changes to his songwriting approach on a more personal level, as well.

“Over the years I’ve learned about paying more attention to actual songwriting. Not just getting a good hook then throwing a bunch of garbled lyrics on top of it. Now I actually focus on, say, what if this song was written in a different fashion, or what if it was played in a different style — does it have that type of longevity? Not every song on the album is meant to switch over like that, but there’s a couple of them that could be transitioned to another style of music.”

Something seems to have gone right, as the band has already had a single, “Choke,” previewed on the Guitar World magazine website and opened over the summer for southern rockers Nashville Pussy. But lest you think they have strayed too far from their psychobilly roots, Victor assures us it’s still the Koffin Kats you know and love.

“We definitely brought in some different influences on this album, but you can tell it’s still us. And you can still hear the old us.”

The “old” Koffin Kats were the original lineup of Victor, Walls, and band namesake Koffin, but Walls left the band at one point, starting a revolving door of several different drummers — the relentless touring all year round proved too much for most of them before Walls returned in 2006. And in the end, the touring finally wore down Koffin himself, who left in 2010.

The lineup has seen several changes, but the basic philosophy has remained the same, including get in and get out and it done when it comes to making new music.

Get in and get it done

“We treat recording as we treat writing songs — if it takes us way too long to record or write a song, then there’s something not right about with the song. When we write a song, we’ve literally written it in 15 minutes max. If we spend more time than that, then we’re searching too hard.”

“We don’t spend time bickering over something either,” adds Walls. But as Jarrell sits down with the rest of the band, Victor is quick to jump in and start in hassling him — even after over a year with the Kats, the initiation phase appears to be unending.

“I really don’t listen to Ian too much,” Victor laughs. “The song that was ‘too generic’ for him became the one he sang on and the one that got a thousand plays in two days on Guitar World website so he can kiss my [expletive] for all I care. ”

“I forgot about that,” adds Walls, and they throw a few more verbal jabs at him as Jarrell just lets it roll off his back. Fortunately, he’s good-natured enough to find it as amusing to him as it is to Victor and Walls. Hey, they gotta have something to do to amuse themselves with all those hours on the road.

Speaking of which, will there ever be a time when they can slow down a bit?

“The only time I foresee that happening is if we start doing large tours,” says Victor. “Then you have to take time off. But that’s so far out of the ballpark for us…”

“We have no control over that, ” Walls adds, noting they have to start getting the crowds coming out to see them first. And “that” depends on managers and labels and making enough money to fund those big tours — they aren’t just loading up the shuttle bus and the trailer and hitting the highway for tours that size, hoping they make enough at one gig to buy gas to get to the next.

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Far from mainstream

Which isn’t to say having a new label and a publicist are a bad thing for a band with such a DIY history. Or that mainstream success wouldn’t be sweet after paying their dues for so many years. But they aren’t holding their breath on that one, or being able to slow down to one big tour a year.

“Realistically, I would [expletive] my pants if a band like us got accepted into such a mainstream where we could live like that,” says Victor. “When we go home we live off of a few bucks we made off touring which is why we have to keep going back out so much. We aren’t going home and kicking back and buying cars, but stocking up on canned food for the next tour. But it’s great — it’s better than cleaning carpets and sorting mail (Victor’s and Wall’s former respective day jobs.) But yeah, you definitely have to live modestly and on a budget to live off of underground rock and roll.”

Signing with Sailor’s Grave has given the band the luxury of a some promotional funding and a publicist to help them invest in ways they get the most PR bang for their bucks. Of course, that’s all money that has to be made (and paid) back, which made them consider continuing the DIY track they were on, but in the end they gave the traditional route another shot, even though it hasn’t worked so well for them in the past.

Fortunately, Sailor’s Grave has proven to be as dedicated to the band as they are themselves and renewed their faith in turning some business aspects over to outside parties, despite their reservations at giving up some of the control.

“You don’t know if they’re going to perform for you,” says Walls. “We’ve had a lot of people work with us and it’s all flowers and rainbows in the beginning, but then the performance comes out… and we’re a band that I know will perform, and we will play every day and we will do stuff every day so we need people around us who will perform, too. We’ve been lucky to have James and Shane (with Libertalia Management) because they were willing to work with us day in and day out. ”

The band has also picked up European representation with I Hate People Records. And with that, the only thing left was integrating the sound of their new guitarist into the mix and gelling as a group.

Finding the right mix

“We finally found the mix…the right mix sound-wise,” says Victor. “We started working with Rene ( De La Muerte ) from The Brains and did this split record (with 12 Step Rebels) and he did a great job in the mix so we definitely wanted to use him for the full length album. I can finally say ‘Here’s how I’ve always wanted the previous recordings to sound.’ But when you’re working on a limited budget and time is an issue…and nothing against anyone who previously recorded us, but you have to kind of know what sound we’re going for.”

“You always have to squeeze that into your budget too,” adds Walls. “That time to get that proper mix between all the forces playing when you sit down and record. Obviously if we had a year to record it we could get it perfect.”

The trio had just played in Arizona where former guitarist Koffin had come out and played with Tucson friends The Demon City Wreckers, and done some “wrecking” off stage as well — the notorious former wild child of the band indulged in some hard drinking and picking on Jarrell, as well.

“It was great seeing Tommy pick on Ian. It gave us a chance to step back and let someone else do it,” says Walls.

If you’re wondering where the rest of the tales of wild rock and roll bacchanalia are in all this business talk, there are certainly those moments, too — they still have their wild side that comes out on numerous occasions.

“It depends on who’s with us — the three of us are gonna act pretty much the same all the time. We’re always going to be, maybe, not the most mature guys,” Walls laughs, “but you get the right collection of three or four key people around us…”

“When we go to a new city and we have a friend there, they’re like, ‘Dude, you’re in town — we have to party’…but that’s what the friend we saw yesterday said,” adds Jarrell.

Just to clarify, I asked them if they were really just nice boys corrupted by bad influences., to which they answered “Yes!” in unison. Yeah, right. But even if not bearing witness to past debauchery, it would be hard to be convinced by guys in a band where the front man has “Party Time” tattooed across his belly.

But then, as this is a family site, we’ll leave all that for one of those so-called “unauthorized” rock star biographies when they make it big. (You guys don’t really fall for that unauthorized bit do you?)

Giving the fans what they want

They may have a good time, but the Koffin Kats always take their music and their fans seriously and do whatever it takes to give them a full show. Some of their most dedicated and hardcore fans are on the Native American reservations out west, and they were playing a show on the Navajo reservation one night when the local police came out and literally pulled the plug mid-set.

“They pulled our plug and we told the kids if they came out the next day at noon we’d play for them,” says Walls. “They were obviously pissed at the police, but we told them we had to leave at two but we’d be here at noon play for anyone who showed up. A good half of them came back. I mean, it was out in the sun and everything. We love those fans.”

And the feeling is mutual. To catch the Koffin Kats near your town, check their website for current tour schedule and their new release, “Our Way and the Highway.”

‘Supernatural’ recap: The good, the bad and the adorably geeky

Supernatural-The-Girl-with-the-Dungeons-and-Dragons-Tattoo

(This article orginally appeared on Examiner.com on 5/1/12. Reprinted here as Examiner.com is gone.)

Sam and Dean Winchester found themselves needing to get into the heart of the evil empire on last Friday’s episode of “Supernatural.”

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Candice DeLong and Her ‘Deadly Women’

‘Homicide Hunter’: Joe Kenda and the Ones Who Got Away

(This article was originally posted on Examiner.com on 8/18/14.)

Lt. Joe Kenda made a name for himself as a detective by solving 92 percent of the murders that came across his desk during his tenure in the Colorado Springs homicide division. So when sitting down to interview him about the latest season of his Investigation Discovery hit “Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda,” one would have to be a little naive to think one will be in the driver’s seat. Kenda took the wheel right off the bat, even before the first proper question, because what you see on TV is what you get in real life. He jumps right in with stories and anecdotes, and still controls an interview whether he’s grilling a suspect, or whether he’s supposed to be the one getting interrogated.

He can’t help himself, with so many tales of murder and mayhem. Very few are such natural-born storytellers — or raconteurs, as he refers to himself — and even when Hollywood came calling, Kenda set them straight on who was running the show and how it was going to be done from the get-go. It was his way or the highway for this modern-day Joe Friday, although he denies any more than a passing familiarity with “Dragnet.” But his old-school style harkens back to the classic days of film noir and the likes of fictional detectives like Philip Marlow or Sam Spade.

Diana Price: Well, first of all, thank you so much for doing this. I am a total Investigation Discovery junkie, but I just love your show.

Joe Kenda: Well, I’m glad you do. Kind of you to say that. It’s funny how it all started in the sense that I have no script, I just say what I want to say. So they have to film me first. Because for them to do the reenactments, I don’t know what I’m going to say until they turn that camera on, so they have to interview me and then they do the reenactments.

DP: I love that, because I had seen that they tried to give you a script in the beginning and you were like. “Oh no, I am not reading somebody else’s words.”

JK: No.

DP: But I hadn’t thought about the fact that means you have to do your part first and then they follow what you say.

JK: Right, because they say, “What do you want to say?” and I say, “I don’t know. Turn the camera on and we will see.”

DP: You brought Hollywood to its knees and you made them cater to you.

JK: Well, accidentally I did. I think it’s because it’s successful, therefore they’re willing to put up with me. Because it has really good ratings, people like it.

DP: Well, yeah, you’re going on your fourth season, so are there different approaches you’re trying this season or do you figure if it isn’t broken, we don’t need to fix it?

JK: I think it’s fine. I don’t think we need to fix it. I think that we’ve done some minor technical things. They’ve gotten some high definition cameras this time for reenactment, so it gives it more of a cinematic look. They’ve gotten the correct uniforms for the actors playing cops from Colorado Springs and the cars are marked correctly, but other than that it’s the same.

DP: And you certainly have plenty of cases to draw on because you’ve had almost 400 cases solved and a 92% solve rate, which is incredible. What do you think was the key to being so successful?

JK: I’m not smarter than anybody else, I’m just more determined, that’s all. I take it as an affront — you can’t kill in my city, you can’t do that. You can do a lot of things, but don’t do that. Because if you do that, I’ll find you, and I’ll put you under a prison where you belong. That’s why; I treated it as a mission, not as a job.

DP: Do you think that maybe the reason some other people don’t have a great of a success rate is that they aren’t…

JK: I can’t speak for others — I have no idea. I know what I did and I was dedicated to it, absolutely dedicated, and I demanded that same level of dedication from all of my detectives. And I personally hand-selected everyone that was in the department and we all worked together quite well. We all had the same attitude: you aren’t going to get away with this.

DP: It almost sounds like you did make it pretty personal.

JK: Oh, absolutely, you have to make it personal. Otherwise, when it’s five o’clock it’s time to go home. But it’s never time to go home, not if we don’t know anything. I used to tell my guys that. I said “Hey, if I thought you needed a wife I would have issued you one. Where are you going?” That’s how it is.

DP: I know that you’ve said in other interviews that when you were out working in the field, you didn’t go home and talk about these cases with your wife. So has doing the show been a way for her to finally find out what you did all those years of late nights? What does she think about seeing the stories on TV now?

JK: I think it has and I think it has shocked her a little bit. There are a couple of occasions when she’s been watching the show on TV and she’ll just turn and look at me and then say, “I didn’t know…” I know you didn’t know that.

I mean, what are you going to do? Are you going to go home at night and tell your wife the horrible things you did all day? You aren’t going to do that. You’re going to go home, tell her a few funny anecdotes, maybe, or say nothing at all.

So it’s been a revelation in some ways for her. It’s been therapeutic for me because I’ve said more to that camera than I’ve ever said to anybody about what I did for a living. But it feels good. It releases some of the pressure.

DP: That is something else I had read, that you did feel some relief that you’re finally able to tell your stories. And were there some of the unsolved cases where you felt some kind of closure being able to talk about it? Or actually, those cases probably haven’t been featured, correct?

JK: No, they can’t be. In Colorado, and like in most states, they are considered an active criminal investigation. The facts are only privileged to the police, the defense and the courts. So it is a felony to discuss those outside of a police environment. So no, we don’t talk about those, and they still drive me crazy. I still think about them all the time. Sometimes they just get lucky — they’re not really smart, they’re not really clever, they aren’t Professor Moriarity — they’re just lucky that the evidence they left behind is meaningless — and that’s what happens sometimes. It doesn’t happen very often, but it does happen, we can’t get them all.

DP: I think a lot of your viewers would say the cases you did succeed at were probably a little more than luck, as you seem like you know what you are doing when you handle those suspects.

JK: I know what I’m doing, but there are still moments… You can look at that two ways, Diana. You could say I’m a smart guy who solved 92 percent of my cases, or I’m a dumb sh*t who doesn’t know who killed 8 percent of those people. It depends on your point of view.

DP: True. I guess when we’re talking about murder here, you’re looking at people who are saying, “Oh my gosh, you solved 92% of your cases. How great is that!” But I can see where you’d be thinking, “Yeah, but eight out of 100 are unsolved, and those are people that are dead and still crying for justice.

JK: That is correct, and it’s never going to happen for them. Never going to happen for them. And that grates at me. You don’t want to miss one… you don’t want to miss one, but sometimes there is just nothing you can do. In the modern court room, it’s not proof beyond a reasonable doubt, it’s proof beyond any doubt, and you better have a movie of the guy doing it. Juries in the modern day don’t want to decide. They want the facts to decide for them so that they can go to their friends and say, “Well, what else could I do? The evidence was so overwhelming I had to find him guilty.”

People don’t want to make decisions in modern America, which is really unfortunate, but it’s true. So when you go into a court room, you better have it — you better have it all — otherwise you aren’t getting anywhere.

DP: Well, even if you had a movie these days you’d probably have to try to prove that it wasn’t CGI.

JK: That’s correct. Of course, everyone believes that they’re dialed in to the world because people tell them they are. Having a smart phone doesn’t mean you’re smart, it means you have a smart phone. People get organized around these electronic wizardry things, and they begin to think or believe that they are somehow in contact with all the known facts of human activity and they couldn’t be further from the truth — could not be further from the truth.

But they believe that, so they think “I will analyze this, I will utilize my high school diploma to look at this problem that I have never seen in my life before and I’ll come up with a correct answer.” Probably not.

DP: And I think a lot of people use smart phones so that they can be dumb. But there is a real fascination which true crime which has certainly been beneficial to your channel. Why do you think that people are so fascinated with this real life horror? Why do we want to watch this?

JK: It’s an interesting question. If I knew the answer I could write a book and retire to the south of France… I have no clue, people are fascinated by it. I know that in my experience, if we walked into some place wearing cheap suits and announced we were from homicide everybody would pass out. It frightens people. Perhaps that’s part of it — they’re frightened by it, so they want to think that maybe they can understand it better and be less frightened of it if they watched these shows. I don’t know, but I know it’s certainly true. I get recognized every place I go — airports, restaurants, banks, airplanes, elevators, you name it — somebody knows who I am because they watch that show.

And I’m always nice to people and go out of my way to be nice to people. I get my picture taken with their iPhones; here is an autograph, here you go. Why not be nice?

DP: They are probably nice to you because they’re probably a little scared they’ll make you mad.

JK: That’s why maybe, but everybody is pleasant so so am I.

DP: Because you kind of do your own scripting, have you ever thought of writing a book? You could just put on Dragonspeech and run with it and have…

JK: If it were to happen, I’m not a writer but I’m a talker, so get me some voice-activated software and get out of my way. It would be interesting, plus I could say some really evil things you can’t say on television.

DP: Exactly. Even though you may not consider yourself a writer, you are certainly a storyteller.

JK: Thank you.

DP: With this career, dealing with death, and with murders, and the worst of humanity, how do you keep from letting that drag you down to a feeling of cynicism or hopelessness?

JK: Well, it’s an easy thing to do if consider this: I had a professional life and I had a personal life and I never let the two mix. So all of my friends were not cops. I never went to police functions. Nobody at the police department even knew if I was married. I had a professional life and I had a personal life and I didn’t mix the two. Look at it this way: if you put up a sign that says no parking, 98 percent of the world will not park there because there is a sign. Two percent of the world will. And I spent 100 percent of my time with the 2 percent. But I understood clearly that they represented two percent and everyone else is just fine. They go home and pet the dog and say hello to the wife and have dinner and go back to work like they are supposed to. Two percent of the public isn’t like that, and that is who I spend my time with. My friends all did something else for a living. They all knew what I did, but nobody asked me about it. That’s just how it was.

DP: Probably a very smart approach to handle it that way. Do you still have people approach you to help with cases even though you are retired?

JK: Yes, I belong to a cold case group that is the American Society of Cold Case Investigators, and it is run by a district attorney’s investigator in Pennsylvania, and he has enlisted the help of a number of people who include myself. If you are an agency — not an individual but an agency — and you have an unsolved murder and you’re willing to set your ego aside, which is not easy to do, you can submit that case to this group and we will look at it and give you some ideas on what you could do that maybe you have not done to some of those cases. And we have had some success with that, so I still keep my hand in as a result.

DP: Do you ever get involved with more famous cases — I don’t want to name any specifically — or just have those who try to get you involved?

JK: Of course, but I can’t get involved in those things, I’m not part of that investigation… The press accounts of a case are never correct. Even when you provide them with facts, they’ll still figure out a way to screw it up. So I have no idea what happened in those cases nor am I responsible for their resolutions. I don’t get involved. I say “I’m sorry, but I don’t get involved in that,” because I don’t. Which is unfortunate, but it’s reality.

DP: Obviously you had formal training to become an officer, but you seem to have picked up a lot instinctively on the job. What was the biggest “a-ha” moment of your career as a detective — something that really made you better at doing what you do?

JK: Having empathy for people. Understanding that even the bad guys are looking for some degree of forgiveness and if you treat people well, they will tell you what they did. I never raised my voice; I never threatened anybody; I never used profanity. I was their friend, and over time in that conversation and in the interrogation, all of a sudden we’re not in a police station, we’re in a bar. We’re buddies and you’re going to tell me what you did, and I learned that.

It’s different for everybody — it really is. Your personality is different than anyone else’s so what works for me would not necessarily work for you, but that works for me. I was nice to people.

DP: What do you think is your most satisfying case?

JK: Every single one of them, absolutely.

DP: Do you still do any work on the unsolved ones or occasionally open up the files and take a look to see if something pops into your head?

JK: Yes.

DP: And have you had any success with some of those unsolved cases that you had?

JK: No.

DP: They are pretty unsolvable, I take it.

JK: Yes ma’am, we need divine intervention.

DP: You seem to be pretty busy even though you’re retired: you’ve got the show, you’ve got some cold cases that you are working with for that Pennsylvania group. Is there anything else that you’ve been kind of dabbling in, not related to police work?

JK: We recently moved to the east coast from Colorado to the Tidewater area of Virginia eight months ago. I’ve been remodeling a house and I’ve been a busy guy, but we’re almost done. So we’re getting there, but Mrs.Kenda began looking over her glasses at me a couple of weeks ago, with her narrow blue eyes. “Two more weeks, Hon.”

DP: You may wear the pants when it comes to the interrogations, but I guess we know who keeps you in line.

JK: The lovely and radiant Mrs. Kenda does, and she has for many, many moons. We met in high school; we’ve been together all of our lives.

DP: I’m sure that was a hard life for her with all the long hours you put in.

JK: She’s a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Irishman with a temper like a chainsaw. I don’t understand her but I am working on that.

DP: You could understand all these criminals but you can’t understand your own wife?

JK: Nope, never have.

Kenda still hasn’t conquered the mysteries of the female psyche — or at least not Mrs. Kenda’s — but he sure has a knack for getting his man. Check him out in “Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda.” The Season 4 premiere airs August 19th on Investigation Discovery at 10 p.m. E